Sexual Attitude Reassessment · Reflective Exercise

The Question Not Asked

It begins by asking you the questions you ask clients. Then it gives you an intake with nothing wrong in it, and asks you to find what is missing.

What this exercise does

Avoidance is the only countertransference form in this chapter made of something not happening, which means it cannot be examined by asking clinicians whether they avoid things. The honest answer is always no, because nobody remembers the question they did not ask.

The first part is the most intrusive thing in the chapter. You may decline any question in it, declining is treated as a legitimate answer rather than as a gap, and declining is the part the exercise is most interested in.

Estimated time to complete this exercise: 30 minutes

1Your turn
2The intake
3What is missing
4Her side
5Your intake
6Close

Before you begin

How this one works

This exercise begins by asking you the questions you ask clients. It is the most intrusive thing in this chapter, and the design accounts for that: you may decline any of them, declining is recorded as a legitimate answer rather than as a gap, and declining is in fact the part the exercise is most interested in.
Nothing you type leaves your browser. There is no submission, nothing is scored, reloading discards everything, and no answer you give is shown back to anyone.
The second half is an intake that has already happened. Your task there is to find what is not in it, which is harder than it sounds, because an absence does not announce itself.
Avoidance is the only countertransference form in this chapter that consists of something not happening. It cannot be examined by asking clinicians whether they avoid things, because the honest answer is always no.

You will not remember the question you did not ask. That is what makes this form of avoidance durable, and it is why this exercise starts with you in the other chair.

References

  1. Park, E. R., Bober, S. L., Campbell, E. G., Recklitis, C. J., Kutner, J. S., & Diller, L. (2009). General internist communication about sexual function with cancer survivors. Journal of General Internal Medicine, 24(S2), 407–411. https://doi.org/10.1007/s11606-009-1026-5
  2. Tsimtsiou, Z., Hatzimouratidis, K., Nakopoulou, E., Kyrana, E., Salpigidis, G., & Hatzichristou, D. (2006). Predictors of physicians’ involvement in addressing sexual health issues. Journal of Sexual Medicine, 3(4), 583–588. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1743-6109.2006.00271.x